


our beautiful other world

by paynesgrey



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Canon - Manga, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2020-10-04 04:16:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: With Kouga and Inuyasha, Kagome knows she has to make a choice, even if all end results exist.





	our beautiful other world

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my A-Z meme, for "Y - Yet, Kouga/Kagome" for [](http://kawaii-chica.livejournal.com/profile)[kawaii_chica](http://kawaii-chica.livejournal.com/).

The first time Kagome meets Kouga, she doesn’t even think of him like _that_. Initially, she fears him. She gets angry, and then everything changes when he proclaims his love her.

_It’s ridiculous_, she thinks. She can’t even fathom it. But sometimes…

When he saves her, when he worries, when he makes Inuyasha mad just so the dog demon will pay attention to her – he does it all for her, and his effort almost goes unnoticed.

Still, they all call Kouga dense. He squeezes her hand before he throws her over his back. Inuyasha’s curses are drowned out by Kouga’s cackling, and her eyes meet his blue ones just once – a second. She blinks.

_Kagome, you fool. You’re the one who’s dense_, she thinks.

\--

It’s impossible; though sometimes, thinking about it makes it seem more likely. She hates giving the wolf demon hope, but she enjoys his kindness, his attention.

Kikyou makes it both easier and harder for her at the same time. Kikyou still exists and she becomes Inuyasha’s favorite distraction.

One lonely night, Kagome pokes her stick dejectedly into the fire, and Kouga stretches out, his legs sprawled open so the bottoms of his feet can feel the warmth of the fire.

“I know how you feel,” Kagome says, and with the others sleeping and Inuyasha gone, they feel like the only souls in the world. Kouga snorts and she can feel him watching her. So Kagome turns to his eyes, no longer blue but orange from the fire. “I know how you feel to be on the sidelines.”

She closes her eyes and expects him to make a move. When he doesn’t, Kagome lets out a raw sigh. Kouga just stays next to her, loyal and silent.

Inuyasha is gone throughout the night, so Kouga’s company is all Kagome needs. However, his silence plants a seed for her wilder thoughts.

She glances at Kouga once last time and thinks, what if?

\--

Kouga is wounded. Some horrible bird demon exacts revenge on him, and he’s stuck recovering with them for a while, traveling on their way toward Naraku. Kagome doesn’t mind the company, but Inuyasha is furious. He’s angrier than usual, which wears heavily on Kagome’s nerves. The two fight sporadically, and Inuyasha accuses Kouga of things that the wolf isn’t even able to do. The worst is when Inuyasha blames Kagome for encouraging him.

Inuyasha storms off, and Kagome thinks that Kouga is amused by their arguments. She’s wrong of course. The wolf demon is much more silent than usual. In his eyes, she can see distress.

“You guys are really meant for each other, huh?” he notes when Inuyasha is far beyond earshot.

Kagome opens her mouth in surprise, and then closes it softly. She looks down on the dirt and suddenly feels stupid. Why hasn’t she realized sooner?

“That’s what everyone thinks,” Kagome says with a forced laugh. She meets Kouga’s eyes. “You’re the last person I thought would say it too.”

He snorts loudly and bitterly. “It’s as plain as day.” His gaze shifts elsewhere, and the wolf demon appears hurt.

“You’re…you’re really bothered by this!” she exclaims, and Kouga stands up from his spot and limps away, saying nothing.

Shippou hops up to her, obviously overhearing the whole thing. “Wow, Kagome, way to dig the knife in deeper.”

Kagome watches Kouga with shame. She feels really stupid. She doesn’t realize, however, that when she goes to follow him, she’s about to do something even dumber.

\--

She finds him cleaning his wound by a nearby stream, and she walks up softly behind him, hovering over his shoulder.

“Is… your wound better?” she asks, feeling nothing she says will improve his bad mood anyway. Kagome doesn’t even know why she cares if Kouga’s upset. She’s made it clear she isn’t interesting in him beyond friendship, yet she still feels responsible for the wolf demon having feelings for her at all.

“Yeah… It’ll heal by morning and I’ll be outta your hair,” he says gruffly.

“Kouga-kun, you’re not… you’re not in our hair,” Kagome says, shaking her head. Kouga stands up from his spot and Kagome watches the water drip down his leg before he wipes it off with one of his pelts. He smirks at her.

“Oh yeah? I think Dog Turd would disagree with you,” he says with a laugh.

“Well, he’s…I think he’s as unhappy as you are at being around each other,” she says. “But it’s only him.”

“The demon slayer chick doesn’t trust me either,” he says, and Kagome can feel him coming closer.

“Sango… has a hard time trusting anyone,” Kagome says, and suddenly, Kouga is really close. His fingers are tangled in her hair, and she can feel his gaze wandering over her.

She closes her eyes, and for a split second, Kagome thinks she sees a forked road ahead of her. When her vision comes to, all she sees is Kouga, looming over her.

He’s about to leave when she puts her hand on his arm. “There’s this thing I learned in my Physics class called Many-worlds Interpretation.” She rambles on, “Basically, it’s this theory that many parallel universes exist at the same time, but they’re all different, you see.” Kagome tilts her head up and she catches him staring at her, confused and intrigued.

“So what are you saying?” Kouga says, and Kagome wonders if he’s trying really hard to understand her. She wants to assure him that it’s okay if he doesn’t.

“I guess it means that sometimes life presents us with two choices, and we could possibly choose them both, with one choice breaking off in one direction and the other choice in another. Both results exist, but the one we choose is the only one we know.” Kagome tries to explain. Her hand drops from his arm and she looks away. “Like I could choose to walk away from you and go back to camp and smooth over things with Inuyasha. You would see my choice, and we would go on as everything is intended: how Inuyasha and I are made for each other.”

“And your other choice?” he asks, and Kagome is surprised that Kouga is following along.

Kagome’s voice lowers and she fidgets with her hands in front of her. “I could choose to give into this small, curious feeling I have for you.” His intense eyes lock with hers, and he pulls her against him, as Kagome makes no protest – still deciding on her ultimate choice. She looks him over, his deep blue eyes, his tanned skin, and his otherworldly black hair, and she starts to give into the pang of attraction she has for him.

“If I do give in, Kouga-kun,” she’s whispering now, and Kouga dips his nose to hers, nuzzling her close as his breath becomes uneven – like he’s holding back an intense wave of energy that she is more than tempted to release. “Everything could change.”

“Who cares?” Kouga says huskily. She can almost hear words in his heavy breath:_ just make the choice already._

Then, Kagome reacts – like an electron charged and crackling – somewhere in her brain. She leans up and finds his lips, lightly kissing him before her trembling mouth pulls back. Kouga stands, stunned, but his body feels hotter – like a volcano once dormant and ready to break.

“That first time was a pass,” he breathes heavily. “If you do it again, I guarantee everything _will_ change.”

Kagome retreats; she’s too scared. He’s right and she knows it. She pulls from his embrace and sprints back to camp.

She doesn’t look back.

\--

Kouga and Kagome don’t talk about the kiss. They don’t even bring it up, and Kagome starts to think it has never existed, that it’s slipped through the cracks of a parallel universe and then crept back before it could settle into their brains.

However, they both know it did happen. The way Kouga looks at her – both angry and lustful – reminds her of the choice she once made, and then discarded.

Kagome hates how she makes Kouga feel. He leaves their group on his own, and she thinks that she might as well have rejected him.

\--

Kikyou passes on, and as Inuyasha says goodbye to her, Kouga sits by her side – loyal and silent like always.

Kagome feels the pain of Kikyou’s loss, too. It feels weird to her, and she’s only recently discovered that she’s been fighting a phantom all this time. Her view of Kikyou, of Inuyasha – it’s all different now. Her own future becomes less muddy before her. Her choices are clearer.

But her heart breaks anyway, for Kikyou, and especially, for Kouga. He sits beside her and she knows she can offer him no more choices.

He knows this too, and she sees the strain on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and she wonders if Kouga knows she’s saying sorry to him – not to Kikyou and Inuyasha.

\--

Kouga leaves the fight. He has no choice now that his shards are gone. Inuyasha is good enough to let them have a moment to say goodbye.

However, Kagome knows Inuyasha is more confident now that her choice is obvious. Kouga is just a loose end. Kagome hates to think of him that way, but her heart says differently.

“I want to say I’m sorry,” she says as he hugs her tightly. “I couldn’t make that choice.”

“You never had a choice,” he said with a chuckle. “You already made it before you met me.”

“Kouga-kun…” he stops her and pulls away. He smiles at her, and before he teases her and Inuyasha one last time, he whirls around and steals a kiss on her cheek.

“I’ll be seeing you,” he says jovially, but his eyes say something different.

_No you won’t_, she thinks. Kouga is gone. They defeat Naraku, Kagome goes back home for four years and finishes school, and she marries Inuyasha. These are the choices she makes, the events already in motion.

But still, she can’t help but think of the other world, the world she dreams about sometimes – not much though – of how things could have been if she’d only give Kouga that second kiss.

\--

She’s hanging the laundry outside one summer’s day, and her thoughts aren’t too wild. She’s waiting for Inuyasha’s return. He and Miroku have a big demon to tackle a few villages over, so she keeps busy and helps Sango with her kids, as well as doing her own part in the village.

“Kagome-sama!” Kagome turns around when she hears a youthful female voice behind her. It’s Naoko, another miko apprentice under Kaede. Kagome’s smile disappears when the child looks distressed.

“There’s a demon here to see you. He says he knows you and Sango-san,” Naoko says while catching her breath.

“A demon?” Kagome asks with worry. “Who can that even be?”

“He says his name is Kouga,” Naoko says as she watches her. Right away, Kagome’s eyebrows raise and her expression breaks into elation. She starts off into a run, and she turns around to Naoko before heading into town.

“Tell Sango about it too. I’ll be back!” Kagome says, and Naoko cocks her head at her curiously.

Kagome can only imagine what the girl thinks of her: married to one demon and excited to see another.

\--

“Kouga-kun!” Kagome cries and she tumbles into his arms, hugging him briefly before he lets her go. “What are you doing here?”

“So I was right,” he says with a smile. “You did stay in this time and marry Dog Breath.”

Kagome chuckles and swats him affectionately on the arm. “You’re lucky he isn’t here. He’d take your head off.”

Kouga laughs and says. “Great, I have you all to myself then.” He steps back and they fall into silence as his eyes roam over her. “You don’t look any different than the day I left.”

“Don’t be silly. I am five years older,” Kagome says feeling flattered.

“Well, you don’t look it, and I’ve seen some aged humans before. Yuck. Anyway, I came for your help, Kagome,” he says, and Kagome senses anxiousness in his voice.

“Kouga-kun, what is it?” she asks, and he begins to look around nervously.

“Come on, I don’t want to talk about it here,” he says, glaring at the humans watching them curiously. Then, Kagome takes his arm and pulls him away toward her house in Inuyasha’s Forest.

When they’re finally alone, Kagome sees Kouga settle down in their privacy. She watches him pace around a bit, and he starts to scratch the back of his neck.

“I’m kind of glad Dog Turd isn’t around, since I’m not sure he’ll go along with what I need from you,” Kouga says. “I don’t even know how to say it.”

Kagome crosses her arms and huffs. “Kouga-kun, you came all this way, just spill it.”

Kouga laughs at her and says, “Same old Kagome. Well, I need your help … as a miko and midwife for my mate.”

The word ‘mate’ almost burns her ears, but Kagome is happy that Kouga has moved on. She’s always worried that he wouldn’t.

“Your mate? But why would she need a miko?” Kagome asks.

“She’s human, like you. She’s carrying my baby, and she’s having a rough time.” His voice falls low. “She’s not strong like you are. I thought she would be, but…”

“I’ll do it,” Kagome says, and she rubs his arm soothingly. “I take it she can’t move right now?” Kouga nods, and Kagome sighs. “I’ll do what I can, but Kouga-kun, I don’t know if I’ll be that helpful. I’ll bring Naoko with me just in case, but I really don’t think I’m very experienced.”

“I have faith in you, Kagome,” Kouga says with a small smile, but then his expression changes. “I just can’t lose her.”

“I won’t let you,” Kagome says resolutely. “I’m just glad you found someone… I was concerned.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be saying such things.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kouga responds. “I didn’t think I’d get over you either, though Keiko surprised me.” He looks at Kagome, and she can see nostalgia painted in his expression. “She’s a lot like you. Sometimes I think she fell out of those parallel universe thingies that you told me about…like she’s here just for me.”

Kagome grins. “I’m glad you even remembered that story,” she says, and the atmosphere between them starts to feel sedated. Kouga inches closer to her, but his hands are clasped rigidly behind him.

“I thought about it a lot when I left the fight,” he admits with a quick sigh. “I wondered about another world where you actually chose me, and then, well, it depressed me more than anything… so I kinda went wild with women for awhile…um, which you probably didn’t need to know.” He winces with a light cackle. He turns away from her bright face, and she watches him as he revels in memory.

“Then, I got in serious trouble. I was trying to find some food for my pack, and I got caught by some rowdy villagers. I was about to be purified by the miko, when I ran into Keiko. She was caught for stealing too. It seems her brother was starving.” The memory starts to amuse him, and he laughs. “The thing with Keiko, she wasn’t a demon or miko but she was beautiful and smart. She had some of those human explosives hidden in her dress, and she lit the place up and freed me in the process. We shared the food, and she and her brother followed me back to our camp. The rest is history.”

“Kouga-kun, that sounds wonderful,” Kagome says, and she’s relieved he met Keiko. She thinks more than anything Kouga deserves to be happy. “And you never thought about me again, neh?” she teases him softly.

“Well, not anymore than you think about me,” he answers with a devilish smile. Kagome pauses and her smile disappears for a moment, like she’s been caught in a guilty act.

“So…you think Dog Turd will let his wife help out an old boyfriend?” he teases.

Kagome feels a wave of heat flush her cheeks. She can’t remember the last time she’s been embarrassed or flustered. She tilts her head with a grin. “He’ll have no choice in the matter. I’m helping you and Keiko, and I’ll leave in the morning. Inuyasha comes back tonight, so I’ll tell him.”

Kouga’s left eyebrow begins to rise slightly, and he looks at her cautiously. “Are we going to be expecting his company tomorrow too?” he asks mockingly.

“Well, why don’t you stay for dinner and find out?” Kagome asks.

Kouga hesitates for a second, but he sighs in reluctance. “I suppose. This outta be a fun reunion,” he snorts unhappily. Kagome giggles and the two of them settle on the edge of the porch, catching up while they wait for Inuyasha to return.

“Hey, Kagome, I wonder, do you think about that other world you mentioned…ever?” Kouga asks her as the sun is setting. Kagome hugs her knees and stares at the purple and pink clouds in the horizon.

“Sometimes. I don’t so much any more.”

“Yeah,” Kouga says. “I tend to think…the Kagome and Kouga in that world who chose each other…that they ended up being happy.” He turns and their eyes meet again. They can feel the old emotions still there, but there’s nothing left to fuel them. The feelings just sit in their hearts, inert and dormant like missed opportunities.

But at least Kouga and Kagome will never forget how they felt.

“Yes,” Kagome agrees. “You don’t have to worry, Kouga-kun. Wherever they are, I’m sure things turned out perfectly for them.”

END  



End file.
